In an ideal world, we would all have conversations about consensual non-monogamy with ourselves even before we went into relationships, and have contracts and questionnaires before engaging in them, but life is often not so regimented. So why is consensual non-monogamy so fascinating for people? For many, it may be the fantasy of having deep emotional and sexual intimacy with more than one person. It may be the prospect of discovering new aspects of your identity and exploring the multitudes within the self. It may be the enjoyment one may receive at witnessing one’s partner experience pleasure, known in the poly world as compersion, or the opposite of jealousy. Or it may be a desire for the “new relationship energy” (the flood of dopamine and oxytocin to the brain also known as limerence) that happens when you first start dating and becoming intimate with a new partner.